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Stop listening to all that advice telling you to play it cool...

Are you in the early stages of dating a man and wondering if he is as serious about you and you are about him?

” to “How can I calm down and make sure I don’t ruin it with this great guy?

” Both of them, unfortunately, had it quite backwards.

Because of their own fear – of being abandoned, of being not-good-enough, of being too old, too rigid, too masculine – they seriously ran the risk of alienating their new men.

Until I reminded them of a core principle in “Why He Disappeared”: men do what they want to do. If we want to introduce you to our family, we’ll introduce you to our family.

” Tell Him Exactly How You Feel Inside You don’t have to ask about his feelings because that might feel invasive to him, but you can and should tell him about yours.

I often find myself wanting to achieve higher levels of emotional intimacy with my partner but realized that I have been pushing too hard (or in some cases have just been with someone incapable of meeting that need).Should the relationship evolve, there will be plenty of time to get into weighty topics. When a person reveals too much too soon, it can give a false sense of intimacy. In reality, premature or exaggerated revelations are due more to boundary issues, unresolved pain, or self-centeredness than true intimacy. Maybe your first date questions will lead you to discover that this person is your soul mate—or maybe not. Putting the man in front of your feelings and needs may seem like the right thing to do at the beginning of a relationship (hey, don’t we all have irrational fears that aren’t attractive? Just because you don’t want to feel insecure, needy, uncomfortable and scared, doesn’t mean that you aren’t feeling that way.And chances are—if you feel these feelings in your budding relationship, he can sense them.

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